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Marvel’s Avengers Adds 'What Am I Doing With My Life' Armor

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You okay in there, Tony?
You okay in there, Tony?
Screenshot: Crystal Dynamics / Square Enix

Square Enix’s weekly Marvel’s Avengers blog post went live this morning. That said, there isn’t much to talk about besides the game’s silly new Iron Man outfit, so let’s do that.

Seriously, just look at this thing. I wouldn’t bat an eye if someone told me Tony skinned a Furby for the helmet. It looks like he walked away from a Doctor Who marathon with an obsession for Cybermen. The armor gives Tony a perpetual “What am I doing with my life?” stare. It won’t strike fear into the hearts of the forces of evil, no, but they’ll at least be doubled over with laughter long enough for the rest of the Avengers to take care of them.

I just feel bad for him.
I just feel bad for him.
Screenshot: Crystal Dynamics / Square Enix
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The outfit in question comes courtesy of Ultimate Iron Man, specifically the 2005-2008 run by noted bigot Orson Scott Card that was eventually retconned into (no joke) being a cartoon within the actual Ultimate universe. In the comics, Antonio Stark develops the suit from a biological agent his father used to protect Antonio from chronic pain after he mutated in the womb. I haven’t read those issues, but from what I’ve seen, the outfit’s appearance in Marvel’s Avengers is, unfortunately, pretty accurate.

And the funniest part is, you’ll have to part with nearly $15 in real money if you don’t want to grind for the required in-game credits. Still, kudos to the developers at Crystal Dynamics for doing what they could with this dorky, bug-eyed piece of Iron Man history.